I had an interesting conversation with an American this weekend. I said I loved the flowers at a specific place and started taking photos of them. The person responded that I should plant some flowers myself to enjoy here at our flat.
We live on the 3rd floor.
Plant some in front in your entrance area anyway.
The entrance area is cared for by/belongs to someone else.
Plant some on your balcony.
We have a grapevine that covers our balcony that blocks most of the sunlight. Plus, I'd have to find the dirt, carry it up to our flat, buy some small pots and then find the flowers, etc.
(All of this IS do-able, of course, if I could find shade loving blooming plants that fit in a 3 inch pot.)
Well, just find some pots and plant some flowers!
So, this morning, I look out at the balcony, all of 2 feet wide, with bars all around like a cage, and my sheets and pillow cases out there, blowing gently in the breeze from one side to the other, the grapevine covering most of the bars, the railing all of 3 inches wide, all of the sticks/linoleum/boards I had collected to make triangle-shaped shelves each summer across the 2 railing corners thrown away by an over-zealous housekeeper who stayed here 2 years ago while we were in the States - and I just kind of laugh to myself. It's a slightly hysterical laugh, I admit.
I throw up my mental hands and say - you gotta live here, you gotta walk 10 miles in my shoes - and THEN you can tell me what I can and cannot do, am able or not able to do. I've lived in this flat for over 10 years and I've tried a number of things, including trying to grow ginger out on the balcony and trying to keep a sun/shade loving houseplant alive out there with the a/c unit blowing hot air on it all summer.
I gave up and love the grapevine instead.
Sigh.
I really did like those flowers and I liked taking photos of them, and I like looking at them on my computer screen.
The balcony, however, will remain flower-less.
Two more of my house plants have died due to the neglect they got last year while we were gone. I've just put the planters out on the balcony in a corner with the other ones. One of these days I'll give them all away or throw them away.
I've given up for now.
I am going to have a large garden in heaven.
I hope.
On the other front - one of the female guppies committed suicide while we were gone this weekend. Finally found her poor dried out lifeless body this morning, hiding in one of the designs on the carpet. There are a whole bunch more tiny guppies in the pond with the remaining male and female, tho, so maybe she had just 'had enough' of mating and motherhood? :) ha ha!
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
Thursday, September 08, 2011
After Dinner Tonight
We had company over for dinner tonight. I made Pumpkin Peanut Ginger soup with the addition of tvrog, which is like a slightly sour dry curd cottage cheese. A little onion, a little garlic, some cayenne pepper and salt. Yum yum!! Served with whole grain and sunflower seeds bread topped with melted cheese. Tomatoes and cukes on the side. Tasty.
I needed this.
I did something I have not done before. I confronted one of the women about her relationship with Christ. It was at the end of the evening and I asked if I could ask her a personal question, she agreed, I asked. Won't go into detail, but her answer concerns me. In some ways I told her I was pleased - she stated that this is not an easy decision for her. I told her that was better than a hasty "I believe" when you really don't. It concerned me very much that she hedged all around the question - do you believe Jesus Christ is the Son of God and that he died to pay the penalty for your sin? That one made her very, very uncomfortable - squirm-y even. And that saddens me oh, so very, very much. She gave several excuses as to why she won't take communion IF she does believe - excuses for which answers have been given over and over and over again. And if she is not a true Believer, I am so glad she does NOT take communion!! So I will pray for her, even more. We've all known her and worked with her for over 13 years. But my heart is sad tonight. She told me it was easy for me to believe because I've been a Christian for almost 50 years. I found that an interesting statement in a number of ways. Gives me food for thought, trying to figure out her reaction and the rest of the conversation. When we're just talking in conversations, she sounds like a true Believer in Jesus Christ. But "something" is missing - is it the Holy Spirit in her life? Or is it courage to come forth? Or is it something else I have no clue over at all?
Time is short. You don't know when your last breathe will be taken. I will be focusing on her in prayer over the next few days and we'll see what happens.
My tutor, who gave a testimony and joined the church years ago, quit going when we had a situation with the then pastor, and she now says "Ukraine has her own church." So, my heart is heavy on two sides tonight. Every time I bring the subject up with her now, she gets real sleepy (she often is sleepy when she's teaching me Russian - I think it's self-defense for what she's hearing!! :) :) ) and can barely keep the conversation going. There is a real spiritual battle going with her. I have many questions as to what to say and what to do - - but I know I must pray for her, that the Holy Spirit will open her heart and draw her to Christ. She is such a "good person" that most people would never think she was in danger of hell.
Actually, she is the one who has kind of spurred me on tonight. The best friend of one of her friends suddenly died last week, at 61. The woman was very healthy, energetic and so forth, but went in to the hospital for a 'female procedure' and died from 'a blood clot'. My tutor was in shock over it. Maybe this is what is needed to wake her up? I don't know. I will continue praying.
Yet even after all this, I feel so much better than when I wrote earlier today. Amazing how that works. Maybe someone read that post and prayed for me? I may never know who you were, but I thank you from the bottom of my heart.
I also wonder, was my conversation later in the evening the reason I was in such a funk earlier in the day? The older I get, the more I realize what a spiritual battle we are in and that all things are connected. ALL things.
I needed this.
I did something I have not done before. I confronted one of the women about her relationship with Christ. It was at the end of the evening and I asked if I could ask her a personal question, she agreed, I asked. Won't go into detail, but her answer concerns me. In some ways I told her I was pleased - she stated that this is not an easy decision for her. I told her that was better than a hasty "I believe" when you really don't. It concerned me very much that she hedged all around the question - do you believe Jesus Christ is the Son of God and that he died to pay the penalty for your sin? That one made her very, very uncomfortable - squirm-y even. And that saddens me oh, so very, very much. She gave several excuses as to why she won't take communion IF she does believe - excuses for which answers have been given over and over and over again. And if she is not a true Believer, I am so glad she does NOT take communion!! So I will pray for her, even more. We've all known her and worked with her for over 13 years. But my heart is sad tonight. She told me it was easy for me to believe because I've been a Christian for almost 50 years. I found that an interesting statement in a number of ways. Gives me food for thought, trying to figure out her reaction and the rest of the conversation. When we're just talking in conversations, she sounds like a true Believer in Jesus Christ. But "something" is missing - is it the Holy Spirit in her life? Or is it courage to come forth? Or is it something else I have no clue over at all?
Time is short. You don't know when your last breathe will be taken. I will be focusing on her in prayer over the next few days and we'll see what happens.
My tutor, who gave a testimony and joined the church years ago, quit going when we had a situation with the then pastor, and she now says "Ukraine has her own church." So, my heart is heavy on two sides tonight. Every time I bring the subject up with her now, she gets real sleepy (she often is sleepy when she's teaching me Russian - I think it's self-defense for what she's hearing!! :) :) ) and can barely keep the conversation going. There is a real spiritual battle going with her. I have many questions as to what to say and what to do - - but I know I must pray for her, that the Holy Spirit will open her heart and draw her to Christ. She is such a "good person" that most people would never think she was in danger of hell.
Actually, she is the one who has kind of spurred me on tonight. The best friend of one of her friends suddenly died last week, at 61. The woman was very healthy, energetic and so forth, but went in to the hospital for a 'female procedure' and died from 'a blood clot'. My tutor was in shock over it. Maybe this is what is needed to wake her up? I don't know. I will continue praying.
Yet even after all this, I feel so much better than when I wrote earlier today. Amazing how that works. Maybe someone read that post and prayed for me? I may never know who you were, but I thank you from the bottom of my heart.
I also wonder, was my conversation later in the evening the reason I was in such a funk earlier in the day? The older I get, the more I realize what a spiritual battle we are in and that all things are connected. ALL things.
Wednesday, September 07, 2011
I Did It Again
Whew! I did it again. I accidently flooded our neighbor downstairs while washing clothes in the washer. Just after getting towels and mopping up the water in the kitchen and the hallway, the phone rang. I looked at Mel with what I am sure would be described as "pleading eyes" and he answered it. Yep - it was her.
There are times when I want to crawl under the bed, pull several boxes, suitcases and various and assorted dust bunnies all around me and just hide there until the Second Coming. I might not be there too long if I actually did that because I think Christ is returning very soon. Very soon.
However, that event is most likely not going to get me out of living the next few hours.
Way back when when I was working at the library in Westcliffe, I think it was, I read a kid's book titled, Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day, by Judith Viorst and illustrated by Ray Cruz, according to Wikipedia. Let's just say I feel like I'm living "Me and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Three Weeks At Least, Maybe More".
I feel like a failure in everything I've tried to do, never getting it right, never quite measuring up to anyone's standards, including my own, always reaching for the gold ring and always, always, always falling short.
That place under the bed is looking better to me all the time. I understand why some people become hermits - it must be so much easier than trying to live with other people.
Except no matter what, you always have to live with yourself. Can't get rid of Self.
Ever.
-
-
-
-
I am very tired.
There are times when I want to crawl under the bed, pull several boxes, suitcases and various and assorted dust bunnies all around me and just hide there until the Second Coming. I might not be there too long if I actually did that because I think Christ is returning very soon. Very soon.
However, that event is most likely not going to get me out of living the next few hours.
Way back when when I was working at the library in Westcliffe, I think it was, I read a kid's book titled, Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day, by Judith Viorst and illustrated by Ray Cruz, according to Wikipedia. Let's just say I feel like I'm living "Me and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Three Weeks At Least, Maybe More".
I feel like a failure in everything I've tried to do, never getting it right, never quite measuring up to anyone's standards, including my own, always reaching for the gold ring and always, always, always falling short.
That place under the bed is looking better to me all the time. I understand why some people become hermits - it must be so much easier than trying to live with other people.
Except no matter what, you always have to live with yourself. Can't get rid of Self.
Ever.
-
-
-
-
I am very tired.
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
Peace and Calm
you only,
have I sinned
and done what is evil in your sight.
The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit;
a broken
and
contrite heart,
O God, you will not despise.
I have spent much of the last 8 months listening to sermons and listening to the Bible on CD. I listened to 81 sermons by Art Azurdia on the book of Revelation. I listened to his sermons from John, chapters 14-17, and to his sermon series on the book of Hebrews. I listened to several of John MacArthur's sermons on the book of Revelation (but mostly they made me feel very uncomfortable, like - I don't think I am in agreement with this man!). I have listened to several of D.A. Carson's sermons. I've listened to Bible audio - the Gospels, Acts, Romans, Ephesians, Galatians, Revelation, Genesis, Exodus, most of Ezekiel and more. Some of the books, like Jude, I listened to several times.
And it is good. Very good. I will continue to listen to sermons and to Bible audio whenever I get a chance.
And somehow, it is changing me. From all that has happened in the past 3 days, and my reactions to it, I can see huge changes in myself. And this is good.
I came back to Ukraine this time very wounded from a family issue in the States. We were supposed to come back a year ago May and couldn't due to finances. We stayed in the States until the last week of December. And in those following months, actually, if I remember correctly, it was also the month of August! the events happened that so shook me, personally, emotionally, spiritually. Discord between family members that will have lasting effect to the end of my life.
So, I came back wounded instead of strong. I came back vulnerable. Angry. Hurt. Tired deep in my soul. Wanting to retreat into a private world where no one could hurt me again. Where I could never hurt anyone as I had been hurt.
God does not leave us in these times. No, He gives us times of rest and recooperation, but until death closes our eyes and we go to join Him eternally in heaven, these times are only temporary.
And then the difficult part of our sancification begins again. Ratcheted up a notch. In fact, I can look back over my 50 years of being a child of God and see this progression clearly. As I grew physically, God grew me spiritually. As I matured emotionally, God grew me spiritually. As my body has changed and aged, God has continued to grow me spiritually. It will never end, until I reach those 'pearly gates' because I will never, on this earth, be perfect. I will never, on this earth and in this life, be sinless. God will continue to sanctify me until the day I draw my last breath.
It is not easy. It is not simple. It is not pain-free.
I learn, I grow. I stumble, I sin. I repent, I learn, I grow. I sin. And all the while God is working. In me. In those around me. In me. In my husband through me. In my friends through me. In my team mates through me. In the Church through me.
What God is doing in my life effects not just me, but those around me. When I sin - others are effected and affected. When God disciplines me, others are also affected - by what He does, by my reactions, and so forth.
One thing I have learned, in these 50 years of being His child, is that everything that happens in my life, in my soul, has an affect/effect on those around me. And God uses that in their lives as well as in my own.
I am not a profound thinker. I am not a beautiful writer. I am only simple 'me' and must express it in my simple words. The happenings of the past 3 days have changed me, are changing the other person involved, affecting several people around us, and farther away from us, in ways neither of us could begin to understand would happen, and in some way because of that, it will also affect and cause some kind of effect on the Church.
This is frightening in some ways because sin was involved on both sides. Sin always has an effect. And consequences. And a price. Always.
How thankful I am that God is sovereign, that He uses all things for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose. How thankful I am that he can turn mourning into shouts of joy. How thankful I am that He walks with us through the valley of the shadow of death (even death of our self-righteousness!). How thankful I am that He makes us see the idols in our lives, even when we fight so hard to ignore them, or cling so desperately to them.
How thankful I am that I am a child of God.
So, what has happened is not yet over and may not be over for quite some time. It is out of 'our' hands now. Like a pebble thrown into the still waters of a pond, the results of my inaction and the other's action ripple out, farther and farther away from us. I wonder - how far will it go? Will the ripples crash upon the shore, or will the Father step in and in His loving kindness to all of us, calm the ripples, bring peace and through that peace, greater strength to all involved? Or, in the deep, unfathomable purposes of God, will things appear to get worse for a time?
Only time will tell.
But God knows.
And I must trust - and rest - in that.
I marvel at the peace I feel deep inside. Myself just a few years ago would be screaming and demanding "my justice!" and making excuses for myself right and left and throwing blame around like a lid-less blender throws pureed fruit around the kitchen (ask me how I know this! :) ). But instead, a sense of calmness and wellness and wholeness exists.
Thank you, Father in heaven! Thank you.
Grandkids and Great-Grandparents!
Oh how I miss my kids and my grandkids! Kara sent photos (I think it was Kara, could have been our son-in-law, John!) yesterday. We haven't seen a good photo of Eithnee since the one from Moab in May. At her age, babies change a lot in that amount of time!! I'm so glad they sent these two. I could gladly receive another 2 dozen!
I think they are at the top of Independence Pass in the above photo. An international bike race was going on in Colorado last week and they were quite interested in it. I really like the way Stirling looks in this photo, too. So cheerful, so happy, so ornery! Who would ever think he's such a wild handful at times?? ha ha! 
Unfortunately, Eithnee looks in both photos like she's grumpy and needs a nap. But that's ok. At least I can see her little face. And her hair!! She, like her mama before her, looked bald, totally bald for the first year+ of her life. And now, when the photo first downloaded and was HUGE on our screen, her hair is so pale it almost looked clear.
My mother was a platinum blonde until she was in her late 20's or early 30's. I remember her being blonde when I was young (I remember her turning 30 - after all, I was 13!!). But now her hair is almost the same color mine is - it has become darker over the years, not gray. And today is her 75th birthday! Very little gray hair - yes she has it, but it shows as her hair getting a bit lighter again, not as graying.
Happy 75th birthday, Mom!! Love you!!
My mother was a platinum blonde until she was in her late 20's or early 30's. I remember her being blonde when I was young (I remember her turning 30 - after all, I was 13!!). But now her hair is almost the same color mine is - it has become darker over the years, not gray. And today is her 75th birthday! Very little gray hair - yes she has it, but it shows as her hair getting a bit lighter again, not as graying.
Happy 75th birthday, Mom!! Love you!!
Monday, August 29, 2011
Yesterday
Yesterday was an interesting day. It was a tough day. It was a day I don't want to live over, ever again.
I woke up early, very early - 5:45-6:00am early! And I wondered - should I get up? And as I lay there wondering, I heard as distinctly as I now hear Mel moving about in the livingroom, I heard God say to me: "Spend a little time with Me. Pray for the service at church today." I kind of curled myself up around my pillow and I prayed. I prayed for several minutes - for Mel (who was preaching), for the congregation, for God's Holy Spirit to open hearts and minds and for people's hearts to respond. And then I prayed for the Sunday School. It was a wonderful time of prayer, of feeling a warmth of the presence of God that I have not felt for awhile. How very, very thankful I am for that time. It sustained me through the rest of the day.
The church service was, well, shall we say "noisy"? One woman brought her grandson (I think he was her grandson!) and the child was totally out of control. About 5 years old or so and totally undisciplined. He talked right out loud, pulled his grandmother outside and back inside, and more. Then there were the two little tiny guys who clattered all around the back part of the church, running here and there, shoes making the most delightful sounds on the tile floor (they are somewhere around 18 months-2.5 years old). And the little girl who wanted to rattle her papers and also loves to clop, clop, clop around with her sandals on the tile floor (her papa disciplines her, tho - so she was soon sitting quietly, or at least quieter).
Now, all of these noises are not bad - they are good, in that they show we have little kids in church. And we are thankful for that. And the noise does not bother Mel a bit when he's preaching. In fact, he doesn't even hear them!
What is not good is that it does bother people in the congregation, especially the elderly who already have a hard time hearing, or those who are easily distracted.
To top it off, Mel started his sermon by saying that it was going to be a technical, theological sermon and people needed to think.
I wonder - did they? Did they think? Or were they so distracted they couldn't think about much of anything he was saying and instead focused on all the activity going on around them?
It's hard to tell. People have their televisions or radios blaring all the time. They are so used to noise, cell phones ringing out their melodies and strange sounds, cars and buses and trolleys going by on the main streets, conversations, dogs barking, and so forth and so on. Maybe it didn't bother them.
But I felt the war going on. I felt it big time. I was looking for it, due to my time of prayer in the morning, so maybe I was just extra sensitive - but there was a spiritual battle raging in church yesterday morning. I told Mel later that if the veil between our world and the spiritual world had been just a wee bit thinner, I think we would have heard the swords clashing, shouts, and grunts and even little whispers in people's ears.
After it was all over, and I was downstairs for the first time in a very long time, someone came up and totally broadsided me. Totally unexpected. Totally inappropriate place to do it. Words that were cruel and cutting. I realized quickly that I had some blame in what was going on and I apologized at least 4 times, but still it came, spewing out at me, cutting me to the quick in a couple places. I lost it. Anger flared, I bit my tongue to keep back even harsher words than I had already replied, and I left. The problem with words is that once they are out of your mouth, you cannot retrieve them. Never. And I so did NOT want to say anything I would regret for the rest of my life.
I left. Went upstairs, picked up purse and Bible, asked a friend to tell Mel where I had gone, and I left.
There are rammifications for what happened yesterday that remain to be seen. I don't know what the outcome will be. I only know - I am so thankful for those few precious moments in prayer yesterday morning, when I heard my Father's voice, curled up in the warmth of His love and care, and poured out my heart and hopes to Him.
In a way, I should have been prepared for the spiritual, emotional and personal attack on my own self that happened later in the day. Satan's goal is to defeat us, to keep us out of fellowship with God, out of fellowship with our Brothers and Sisters in Christ. Satan and/or his demons were angry and out to destroy.
I only know that I seriously pray no one else heard what was said, by either one of us. That no one else even heard the angry voices. That no one else noticed the angry faces.
Was Satan given a foothold? Will there be lasting damage within the church? Was someone who is seeking the Truth turned away from the Truth by what they may have seen and heard? I do not know. I can only pray.
I was so happy this afternoon, now more than 24 hours later, to find this blog post. Written by Scotty Smith, on The Gospel Coalition blogs website.
A Prayer about the Power and God of Hope
May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope Romans 15:13
And hope does not disappoint us (NIV, or “shame us” ESV), because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us. Romans 5:5
We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure. It enters the inner sanctuary behind the curtain, where our forerunner, Jesus, has entered on our behalf. Hebrews 6:19-20
Gracious Father, I begin this day while the dew of heaven is fresh—the dew of hope. I’d love a downpour of hope, but as long hope comes from you, a dew-size portion is enough. It’s not that disappointing and painful events of recent days have changed significantly. It’s that you haven’t changed and you never will change. You are the God of hope, not just the giver of hope, and the hope you give will never disappoint us or shame us.
Hope will not disappoint us because you will not disappoint us. You will certainly humble us, but you will not let us down or fail us. You don’t promise to work on our timeline or as we would script things, and you certainly don’t promise to give us an un-do or a re-do. But you do promise us that we will not be disappointed in how you choose to work in all things for your glory and the good of your people. We believe, help our unbelief. Give us patient hope.
Hope will not shame us because you will not shame us. Jesus has born the full weight and freight of our sin. We don’t have guileless hearts before one another yet, but we do have guiltless hearts before you, and that’s what matters the most. You now pour the love we don’t deserve into our hearts because you poured the judgment we do deserve onto Jesus.
We don’t have to hold back or hold out on anything. Whatever you bring to light in our lives is for our healing, not our harming; for our freedom, not our flogging; for our sanctification, not our humiliation. We believe, help our unbelief. Give us courageous hope.
How we praise you that the hope you give us is an anchor for our souls, firmly securing us when we find ourselves on threatening seas or in shifting tides. Indeed, we are anchored to a throne of grace; not to the injustice of circumstances; not to the whims and whisperings of men, not to the sins of our past or the uncertainty of our future. We believe, help our unbelief. Grant us bold hope. So very Amen we pray, in Jesus’ tender and trustworthy name.
Categories: Prayer
Tags: courageous hope, hope, the anchor of hope, the God of hope
I woke up early, very early - 5:45-6:00am early! And I wondered - should I get up? And as I lay there wondering, I heard as distinctly as I now hear Mel moving about in the livingroom, I heard God say to me: "Spend a little time with Me. Pray for the service at church today." I kind of curled myself up around my pillow and I prayed. I prayed for several minutes - for Mel (who was preaching), for the congregation, for God's Holy Spirit to open hearts and minds and for people's hearts to respond. And then I prayed for the Sunday School. It was a wonderful time of prayer, of feeling a warmth of the presence of God that I have not felt for awhile. How very, very thankful I am for that time. It sustained me through the rest of the day.
The church service was, well, shall we say "noisy"? One woman brought her grandson (I think he was her grandson!) and the child was totally out of control. About 5 years old or so and totally undisciplined. He talked right out loud, pulled his grandmother outside and back inside, and more. Then there were the two little tiny guys who clattered all around the back part of the church, running here and there, shoes making the most delightful sounds on the tile floor (they are somewhere around 18 months-2.5 years old). And the little girl who wanted to rattle her papers and also loves to clop, clop, clop around with her sandals on the tile floor (her papa disciplines her, tho - so she was soon sitting quietly, or at least quieter).
Now, all of these noises are not bad - they are good, in that they show we have little kids in church. And we are thankful for that. And the noise does not bother Mel a bit when he's preaching. In fact, he doesn't even hear them!
What is not good is that it does bother people in the congregation, especially the elderly who already have a hard time hearing, or those who are easily distracted.
To top it off, Mel started his sermon by saying that it was going to be a technical, theological sermon and people needed to think.
I wonder - did they? Did they think? Or were they so distracted they couldn't think about much of anything he was saying and instead focused on all the activity going on around them?
It's hard to tell. People have their televisions or radios blaring all the time. They are so used to noise, cell phones ringing out their melodies and strange sounds, cars and buses and trolleys going by on the main streets, conversations, dogs barking, and so forth and so on. Maybe it didn't bother them.
But I felt the war going on. I felt it big time. I was looking for it, due to my time of prayer in the morning, so maybe I was just extra sensitive - but there was a spiritual battle raging in church yesterday morning. I told Mel later that if the veil between our world and the spiritual world had been just a wee bit thinner, I think we would have heard the swords clashing, shouts, and grunts and even little whispers in people's ears.
After it was all over, and I was downstairs for the first time in a very long time, someone came up and totally broadsided me. Totally unexpected. Totally inappropriate place to do it. Words that were cruel and cutting. I realized quickly that I had some blame in what was going on and I apologized at least 4 times, but still it came, spewing out at me, cutting me to the quick in a couple places. I lost it. Anger flared, I bit my tongue to keep back even harsher words than I had already replied, and I left. The problem with words is that once they are out of your mouth, you cannot retrieve them. Never. And I so did NOT want to say anything I would regret for the rest of my life.
I left. Went upstairs, picked up purse and Bible, asked a friend to tell Mel where I had gone, and I left.
There are rammifications for what happened yesterday that remain to be seen. I don't know what the outcome will be. I only know - I am so thankful for those few precious moments in prayer yesterday morning, when I heard my Father's voice, curled up in the warmth of His love and care, and poured out my heart and hopes to Him.
In a way, I should have been prepared for the spiritual, emotional and personal attack on my own self that happened later in the day. Satan's goal is to defeat us, to keep us out of fellowship with God, out of fellowship with our Brothers and Sisters in Christ. Satan and/or his demons were angry and out to destroy.
I only know that I seriously pray no one else heard what was said, by either one of us. That no one else even heard the angry voices. That no one else noticed the angry faces.
Was Satan given a foothold? Will there be lasting damage within the church? Was someone who is seeking the Truth turned away from the Truth by what they may have seen and heard? I do not know. I can only pray.
I was so happy this afternoon, now more than 24 hours later, to find this blog post. Written by Scotty Smith, on The Gospel Coalition blogs website.
A Prayer about the Power and God of Hope
May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope Romans 15:13
And hope does not disappoint us (NIV, or “shame us” ESV), because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us. Romans 5:5
We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure. It enters the inner sanctuary behind the curtain, where our forerunner, Jesus, has entered on our behalf. Hebrews 6:19-20
Gracious Father, I begin this day while the dew of heaven is fresh—the dew of hope. I’d love a downpour of hope, but as long hope comes from you, a dew-size portion is enough. It’s not that disappointing and painful events of recent days have changed significantly. It’s that you haven’t changed and you never will change. You are the God of hope, not just the giver of hope, and the hope you give will never disappoint us or shame us.
Hope will not disappoint us because you will not disappoint us. You will certainly humble us, but you will not let us down or fail us. You don’t promise to work on our timeline or as we would script things, and you certainly don’t promise to give us an un-do or a re-do. But you do promise us that we will not be disappointed in how you choose to work in all things for your glory and the good of your people. We believe, help our unbelief. Give us patient hope.
Hope will not shame us because you will not shame us. Jesus has born the full weight and freight of our sin. We don’t have guileless hearts before one another yet, but we do have guiltless hearts before you, and that’s what matters the most. You now pour the love we don’t deserve into our hearts because you poured the judgment we do deserve onto Jesus.
We don’t have to hold back or hold out on anything. Whatever you bring to light in our lives is for our healing, not our harming; for our freedom, not our flogging; for our sanctification, not our humiliation. We believe, help our unbelief. Give us courageous hope.
How we praise you that the hope you give us is an anchor for our souls, firmly securing us when we find ourselves on threatening seas or in shifting tides. Indeed, we are anchored to a throne of grace; not to the injustice of circumstances; not to the whims and whisperings of men, not to the sins of our past or the uncertainty of our future. We believe, help our unbelief. Grant us bold hope. So very Amen we pray, in Jesus’ tender and trustworthy name.
Categories: Prayer
Tags: courageous hope, hope, the anchor of hope, the God of hope
Saturday, August 20, 2011
My Critters
I have a few critters here in our flat. Some I do not want to show you - like the spider I tried and tried to kill a couple days ago but it escaped me anyway, through a crack between the window and window frame. Or the ants in the kitchen that come and go now and then. Or the flies. Oh what the heck... I have photos of them all! Why don't I show them to you? :) :) :)
My cat, Cheyenne, sunning herself in the doorway to the balcony, in the morning before it gets too hot. Her fur is a little scruffy in this photo - she's lost a lot of fur this summer due to the heat, I think. Also, she's an Old Lady Cat now, 12.5 years old! Hard to believe, but true.
Supervising my last weaving project, which still is not completely finished, so I haven't posted about it yet, but I will! She has her own little pillow to sit/lay on while she makes sure I'm doing it all correctly.
My goopies! The Russian pronunciation of guppies. :) :) Yes, I finally broke down and bought 3. Two females and one male. Aren't they pretty? (I had to darken the photo, tho, to bring out the colors because through the water they look rather pale and gray. Also, you can't see the male's tale in this photo - it's orange and black and much larger than the female's tails. Just regular, normal guppies like at your local pet store in America.)
And yes, they do reproduce. They also eat their young. :( But this one has survived so far!
They are really hard to photograph, darting here and there, somewhat scared of me still. I think there might be one other one in there right now, but I also am pretty sure that when I went to feed them this morning that I saw one of the females eat one. So...who knows how many babies are really in there? :)
We've only had one dragonfly in the flat this summer, not like the hordes we had a couple of summers ago! Maybe because the balcony door has been closed much of the summer due to the heat and high humidity?
Flies, flies, flies. Everywhere on the underside of the window bars in the bedroom window. So weird. They 'rest' there for long parts of the day. Sometimes they come in through the open window and rest inside. I could only see one today however, but this is what they do:
I like it when they stay outside. It is interesting to see them there sometimes. I've counted up to 13, some in groups of 2 or 3, others in a line, and some just here and there.
Ants! Yes, we have ants, especially in the spring. Oh my! They were all over the flat at one point. I'd be sitting here at the desk and realize an ant was crawling up my arm. Only found them in the bedroom once, but they are in the livingroom (we eat there) and of course, all over the kitchen. I did take a photo of them on the trash can, but you don't want to see that one. :) :) This is the kitchen wall, and I think that is a tiny piece of frozen spinach they found. After I took this photo, the poor little things just slowly slipped back down the wall a couple inches. I felt sorry for them and left. I have no idea if they ever made it UP the wall, where they were trying to go when I so rudely interrupted them.
This photo was from May. They are mostly gone again now. I wonder where they come from? I wonder where they go? I have no idea. I've tried to find where their trail ends, but it seems to be behind the cupboard - maybe through a nail hole into the wall? The walls are made of stone "bricks" that have holes like very hole-y Swiss cheese (less weight in multi-story buildings). I always think of the ants in Proverbs when I see them, and try to remember that I'm supposed to be like them.
And of course, there are the birds that come and sit on the balcony bars and clothesline, or even on the windowsill and peek in at me, too. :) This is one, another one actually poked his little head up over the window sill and looked me over real good before flying away. Others have sat on the bars and watched me. Should I be scared of The Birds? :) :) haha!
Spider alert!!!! If you don't like spiders, don't scroll down!
Ok, I did not get a photo of the spider, did not even think of taking one (but I should so I can identify it!!). But here is it's web - I did take a photo of the web the day before, in the sunlight. Left it so I could hopefully find the spider and kill it. The web is gone now, the spider, unfortunately, is not. :(
Yikes! I finally really looked at this photo and what do I see???? The spider!!! Took 2 photos and it's in both of them, but this is the best picture. Do you know what kind it is? Ei yi yi. Gives me 'the creep out' just looking at it!! I've got to kill it.
Ooops! Almost forgot this guy, a victim of the spider who lives between the windows in the office room (the other one was the livingroom spider - I have got to clean between the windows again!!! but I can't in the livingroom until the a/c unit is put away for the winter.) He appeared overnight in the window.
PS - Am I nuts???
hahahahahahahahaha
My cat, Cheyenne, sunning herself in the doorway to the balcony, in the morning before it gets too hot. Her fur is a little scruffy in this photo - she's lost a lot of fur this summer due to the heat, I think. Also, she's an Old Lady Cat now, 12.5 years old! Hard to believe, but true.
My goopies! The Russian pronunciation of guppies. :) :) Yes, I finally broke down and bought 3. Two females and one male. Aren't they pretty? (I had to darken the photo, tho, to bring out the colors because through the water they look rather pale and gray. Also, you can't see the male's tale in this photo - it's orange and black and much larger than the female's tails. Just regular, normal guppies like at your local pet store in America.)
We've only had one dragonfly in the flat this summer, not like the hordes we had a couple of summers ago! Maybe because the balcony door has been closed much of the summer due to the heat and high humidity?
Flies, flies, flies. Everywhere on the underside of the window bars in the bedroom window. So weird. They 'rest' there for long parts of the day. Sometimes they come in through the open window and rest inside. I could only see one today however, but this is what they do:
Ants! Yes, we have ants, especially in the spring. Oh my! They were all over the flat at one point. I'd be sitting here at the desk and realize an ant was crawling up my arm. Only found them in the bedroom once, but they are in the livingroom (we eat there) and of course, all over the kitchen. I did take a photo of them on the trash can, but you don't want to see that one. :) :) This is the kitchen wall, and I think that is a tiny piece of frozen spinach they found. After I took this photo, the poor little things just slowly slipped back down the wall a couple inches. I felt sorry for them and left. I have no idea if they ever made it UP the wall, where they were trying to go when I so rudely interrupted them.
And of course, there are the birds that come and sit on the balcony bars and clothesline, or even on the windowsill and peek in at me, too. :) This is one, another one actually poked his little head up over the window sill and looked me over real good before flying away. Others have sat on the bars and watched me. Should I be scared of The Birds? :) :) haha!
Spider alert!!!! If you don't like spiders, don't scroll down!
Ok, I did not get a photo of the spider, did not even think of taking one (but I should so I can identify it!!). But here is it's web - I did take a photo of the web the day before, in the sunlight. Left it so I could hopefully find the spider and kill it. The web is gone now, the spider, unfortunately, is not. :(
Ooops! Almost forgot this guy, a victim of the spider who lives between the windows in the office room (the other one was the livingroom spider - I have got to clean between the windows again!!! but I can't in the livingroom until the a/c unit is put away for the winter.) He appeared overnight in the window.
PS - Am I nuts???
hahahahahahahahaha
Monday, August 15, 2011
Moth In The Window
The other day a moth got caught between the two windows here in the office. The little fortichka window was partially open and apparently it flew in and couldn't find it's way back through the little open slit. It was just a plain, drab brown moth. 
Plain? Drab? Really? I've modified the photo to highlight this little guys true nature. Oh my! Just look at the beauty in those wings! I would love to be able to weave something even half that beautiful. God's creativity and artistic-ness (is that a word?) never cease to amaze me.
It flew around between the windows for awhile. I tried to shoo it out, but couldn't do it through the pane of glass between us. It took a little rest here on the window frame, spreading it's wings and showing the glorious colors hidden under the brown cloak. What an incredibly beautiful little moth! 
Did you see it? I didn't at first. No, my attention was on the beautiful orange and black underwings, the moving 'feelers', the fluttering frantic flitting about all over the window and the window frame. From one side to the other, up to the top, down again to the bottom.
Hidden in plain sight, resting itself on the window from, hidden in the shadow of the big beast beside it, was this little guy.
I am in awe.
Thank you, Father in Heaven, for your gifts of color, of movement, of life. Thank you for the gift of sight, for the gift of joy and pleasure in the small things You have created. You are an amazing God! Thank you for loving even me.
Your Daughter
Plain? Drab? Really? I've modified the photo to highlight this little guys true nature. Oh my! Just look at the beauty in those wings! I would love to be able to weave something even half that beautiful. God's creativity and artistic-ness (is that a word?) never cease to amaze me.
Hidden in plain sight, resting itself on the window from, hidden in the shadow of the big beast beside it, was this little guy.
Thank you, Father in Heaven, for your gifts of color, of movement, of life. Thank you for the gift of sight, for the gift of joy and pleasure in the small things You have created. You are an amazing God! Thank you for loving even me.
Your Daughter
Grapevine Perspective
There are so many ways to look at things in life. You can get so involved in the details
that you don't see the bigger picture.
Or you can look at the bigger picture and miss the details, or, for that matter, miss the whole picture.
It all depends on how you look at life and where your focus is.
Or you can look at the bigger picture and miss the details, or, for that matter, miss the whole picture.
Raindrops on Grapes
I'm not 100% certain that these are all in good focus. They look a bit 'soft' to me, but it could be just because one eye sees ok (not perfect, but ok) and the other sees only white smeared blurs. Sigh. Someday in heaven I will have perfect eyesight again!
Enjoy!
Enjoy!
Stuff Happens
Somehow or other, I feel like I've come through a long dark swamp. I had a dream last night, that even though I don't remember all the details, seemed to put a whole bunch of stuff into perspective for me. I woke up very early (for me), somewhere close to 5:00 am and couldn't go back to sleep. That means I got less than 5 hours of sleep, so we'll see how I do through the rest of the day. :) But I feel more relaxed than I've felt in several weeks.
So, what have I been doing? Hmmm. Interesting question. Staying close to the flat, rarely leaving it, in fact. My eye is the same, my vision is not good, and I still fear tripping and falling. Whenever I do walk anywhere, I walk with someone, preferably Mel, so I can hold on to him in the rough patches. There are a lot of rough patches here. Poor man!
But I have to admit, I'm bored with this flat. Sick and tired of the heat and humidity. Tired of reading the same old stuff on the internet every day. Tired of weaving. Tired of embroidering. Can't find my new cross-stitch project (where in the world did I put it????). Do not want to step foot into the kitchen (due to heat mostly).
Actually, I'd love to go on vacation. Where? Hmmm. Another interesting question. A few years ago I would automatically have said, "Scotland!" Or maybe I'd have said, "Egypt again!" Or maybe I'd have even said, "Greenland!" Of all those destinations, Greenland is the only one that sounds even remotely interesting - and safe! Oh, I'd like to go visit New Zealand, too, but that's not exactly close, and it's not exactly safe right now either (depending on where you are at of course - the earthquakes are located mostly in one area).
The earth continues to rumble. Radiation continues to spew up into the air in Japan (did you know that? The main stream media does not report on it - you have to go digging to find out what's happening over there. Click on link to read the latest info from Arnie Gundersen of Fairwind Associates.)
In fact, it makes me wonder - when was the last time you thought about Chile? People died in a big earthquake there not so long ago and there are still after shocks happening. A large volcano, Cordon Caulle, has been continuously erupting for a couple months now on the Chile/Argentina border. Click on the link - absolutely stunning photos! Amazing amounts of snow have fallen in Chile this winter (yes, it's winter there!) - so much that the storms are being called "storms of the century!" which is ridiculous since it's only 2011 and the century has just begun and no one knows what the storms will be like in 24 years.
When was the last time you thought about Christchurch, New Zealand? The aftershocks continue to rumble there, more buildings fall down each time, the city center is a ghost town, whole subdivisions are falling to pieces due to landslides, etc. It's pretty amazing, really, what God is doing to a town that bears His Son's title! But when I've looked at photos on The Landslide Blog, mostly I'm amazed and awed at what God does. Check them out: Images of landslides from the Christchurch earthquake Part 1. Be sure to check out all five parts!!
I could write more, about the volcano in Hawaii and it's recent lava lake collapse (really cool video avaiable at YouTube - just do a search). Or about the volcano, Nabro, that erupted without warning in Eretria.
Or about Comet Elenin. Good grief! There is so much garbage out there on the web about this comet, it is amazing! NASA had to take down one of their sites on it due to all the End of the World conspiracy junk people were posting. I'm sure they did not want to be a forum for spreading false information and having their name associated with it. (just guessing)
And the guy who insists that there have been volcanic emissions of some sort coming out of Southern California, actually in an area that Mel and I traveled through and played tourists in about 18 months ago. He's also into HAARP conspiracies, weather modification and other stuff. I'd laugh, but it's too serious of a problem, what he's doing, to laugh about it.
Sometimes I just have to laugh, though. The world has gone crazy! (It's a sad kind of laughter, you see.)
Literally crazy.
Rioting in London and other parts of Great Britain. Riots in Syria, with the government there actually killing close to 2,000 of their own people (maybe more, info is hard to get out of the country right now) in attemps to quell the 'problem'. Flash mobs in the US. Riots in Greece, Spain. Sit-in in Israel.
And so much more. The world has gone crazy.
And I watch it from my little computer, in my little flat, in my little city which fortunately remains calm and somewhat normal. What IS normal??? :) :)
Today the sky is very gray and it's much cooler, altho still over 80 degrees here at my desk, according to my thermometer. It sprinkled earlier, was dripping just a bit when I got up. We have really needed the rain - hope we get some more.
So, in the mean time, the grapes are ripening on the balcony, my grandson is getting ready to go back to school this week, my granddaughter is growing like a little weed, and life continues. And I pray for them continually.
I'm glad I dreamed last night. I feel so much better about it all. :) :)
Really!
So, what have I been doing? Hmmm. Interesting question. Staying close to the flat, rarely leaving it, in fact. My eye is the same, my vision is not good, and I still fear tripping and falling. Whenever I do walk anywhere, I walk with someone, preferably Mel, so I can hold on to him in the rough patches. There are a lot of rough patches here. Poor man!
But I have to admit, I'm bored with this flat. Sick and tired of the heat and humidity. Tired of reading the same old stuff on the internet every day. Tired of weaving. Tired of embroidering. Can't find my new cross-stitch project (where in the world did I put it????). Do not want to step foot into the kitchen (due to heat mostly).
Actually, I'd love to go on vacation. Where? Hmmm. Another interesting question. A few years ago I would automatically have said, "Scotland!" Or maybe I'd have said, "Egypt again!" Or maybe I'd have even said, "Greenland!" Of all those destinations, Greenland is the only one that sounds even remotely interesting - and safe! Oh, I'd like to go visit New Zealand, too, but that's not exactly close, and it's not exactly safe right now either (depending on where you are at of course - the earthquakes are located mostly in one area).
The earth continues to rumble. Radiation continues to spew up into the air in Japan (did you know that? The main stream media does not report on it - you have to go digging to find out what's happening over there. Click on link to read the latest info from Arnie Gundersen of Fairwind Associates.)
In fact, it makes me wonder - when was the last time you thought about Chile? People died in a big earthquake there not so long ago and there are still after shocks happening. A large volcano, Cordon Caulle, has been continuously erupting for a couple months now on the Chile/Argentina border. Click on the link - absolutely stunning photos! Amazing amounts of snow have fallen in Chile this winter (yes, it's winter there!) - so much that the storms are being called "storms of the century!" which is ridiculous since it's only 2011 and the century has just begun and no one knows what the storms will be like in 24 years.
When was the last time you thought about Christchurch, New Zealand? The aftershocks continue to rumble there, more buildings fall down each time, the city center is a ghost town, whole subdivisions are falling to pieces due to landslides, etc. It's pretty amazing, really, what God is doing to a town that bears His Son's title! But when I've looked at photos on The Landslide Blog, mostly I'm amazed and awed at what God does. Check them out: Images of landslides from the Christchurch earthquake Part 1. Be sure to check out all five parts!!
I could write more, about the volcano in Hawaii and it's recent lava lake collapse (really cool video avaiable at YouTube - just do a search). Or about the volcano, Nabro, that erupted without warning in Eretria.
Or about Comet Elenin. Good grief! There is so much garbage out there on the web about this comet, it is amazing! NASA had to take down one of their sites on it due to all the End of the World conspiracy junk people were posting. I'm sure they did not want to be a forum for spreading false information and having their name associated with it. (just guessing)
And the guy who insists that there have been volcanic emissions of some sort coming out of Southern California, actually in an area that Mel and I traveled through and played tourists in about 18 months ago. He's also into HAARP conspiracies, weather modification and other stuff. I'd laugh, but it's too serious of a problem, what he's doing, to laugh about it.
Sometimes I just have to laugh, though. The world has gone crazy! (It's a sad kind of laughter, you see.)
Literally crazy.
Rioting in London and other parts of Great Britain. Riots in Syria, with the government there actually killing close to 2,000 of their own people (maybe more, info is hard to get out of the country right now) in attemps to quell the 'problem'. Flash mobs in the US. Riots in Greece, Spain. Sit-in in Israel.
And so much more. The world has gone crazy.
And I watch it from my little computer, in my little flat, in my little city which fortunately remains calm and somewhat normal. What IS normal??? :) :)
Today the sky is very gray and it's much cooler, altho still over 80 degrees here at my desk, according to my thermometer. It sprinkled earlier, was dripping just a bit when I got up. We have really needed the rain - hope we get some more.
So, in the mean time, the grapes are ripening on the balcony, my grandson is getting ready to go back to school this week, my granddaughter is growing like a little weed, and life continues. And I pray for them continually.
I'm glad I dreamed last night. I feel so much better about it all. :) :)
Really!
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Tears ... Longing ... Joy
I've had an emotional rollercoaster kind of day. Woke up feeling really good - no headache 2 days in a row after having headaches 4 mornings in a row. Yea. Then, it was up and down, up and down after that. Email, phone calls, facebook, news - up and down, up and down.
I've spent most the late afternoon/early evening alone and have been loving it ever so very much. Have listened to all of the Don Francisco songs I have. A couple of them have had me in tears of joy and praise. Adam, Where Are You? and just now: Too Small A Price.
I encourage you, check out their webpage where you can download free mp3's: Rocky Mountain Ministries I actually ordered two of the older CD's for Stirling and Eithnee to listen to. Stirling loves to learn by singing and by music, so hopefully these will really touch his heart.
For now, if you can, listen to Don Francisco's remake of Too Small A Price. I long so very much for heaven. I cannot begin to express how much I long for it.
Here are the words:
I awoke to hear the jailer turn the key and push the door
"Get out here!" he shouted, but I stayed there on the floor
Frozen in the terror that rose and filled my brain
For I knew what they intended; I could not face the pain
Then soldier's came into the cell and they dragged me to the yard
They threw me down before a cross and brought the whip down hard
"Carry it!" they shouted as I struggled to my feet
I put my shoulder under it; dragged it to the street
I stumbled through a wall of screams as they drove me through the gate
It seemed that thousands lined the streets, their voices filled with hate
Like a wolf pack in the night that moves in for the kill
They closed the gap and followed us as we started up the hill
And it seemed I'd barely reached the top when they grabbed me from behind
They threw the cross down under me and tied the ropes that bind
The arms close to the beams as they nailed the feet and hands
And they raised the cross up in the air and dropped it in it's stand
Through a blur of pain I saw the cross there next to mine
There were people all around it so I looked to read the sign
It was nailed there up above His head so the world could see the news
That the man who seemed so helpless there was the King of all the Jews
Well, the crowd that stood around His cross made jokes about His name
They shouted, laughed and spat on Him so I joined in the game
Then I said, "Hey! if you're the King why don't You get us down from here?
The taunt just sounded hollow and it echoed in my ears
'Cause He looked at me with eyes that seemed to reach into my heart
They shone a light on all my lies and tore my life apart
There was more that lay behind His gaze than simply blood and clay
But knowing was too much for me; I had to look away
Then I chanced another look at Him as He was looking down
Where the soldiers who'd just crucified us drank there on the ground
And although He spoke them quietly, somehow His words came through
He said, "Father, please forgive them; they don't know what they do."
Then as if they'd heard Him speaking, the crowd began to roar
Whipped to frenzy by the priests who urged them on to more
But the worse the accusations, now, the plainer I could see
The guilt of the accusers -- not the One there next to me
Then the man upon the other cross began to curse and swear
But his voice was filled with venom as he hurled it through the air
When all the horror that was in him, and had laid his life to waste
Came out in every syllable he flung in Jesus' face
And Jesus only looked at him, but something rose inside of me
And in spite of all that watched us there, it couldn't be denied
Because His righteousness and innocence were shining bright and strong
I just couldn't keep my silence and that cursing still went on
I cried out, "Don't you fear the wrath of God even at the end?
You'll curse us both into the pit -- is that what you intend?
We're only getting what we're due -- we've sinned our whole lives long
But don't you talk to Him that way -- He's done nothing wrong!"
Then with all my courage, in a voice not quite my own
I asked Him, "Lord, remember me when you come into your throne."
He answered me and even then, His love was undisguised
He said, "Before the sun has set today, you'll be with Me in Paradise."
Well the shouts and curses did not stop even when the sunlight ceased
But somehow in the midst of it my soul had been released
And though the agony continued, it was still too small a price
To be allowed to hear those words, and to die beside the Christ!
Then darkness changed to dawning
And I heard the sound of voices
The air was warm around me
I stood beside a stream
And Abraham was speaking
To the multitude before him
Of the unfolding of the answer
To our prayers and hopes and dreams
Then far across the chasm,
Came a rumbling like the thunder
And the Prince of Peace came shining
From his mouth the power streamed
And the walls and towers crumbled
And the gates of hell went under
As thousands sang the victory
"We have been redeemed!"
Jesus is the Lord of all!
Jesus is the Lord of all!
Jesus is the Lord of all!
We have been redeemed!
Jesus is the Lord of all!
Jesus is the Lord of all!
Jesus is the Lord of all!
We have been redeemed!
Joy! Joy! Joy! Joy!
Jesus is the Lord of all!
Jesus is the Lord of all!
Jesus is the Lord of all!
We have been redeemed!
I've spent most the late afternoon/early evening alone and have been loving it ever so very much. Have listened to all of the Don Francisco songs I have. A couple of them have had me in tears of joy and praise. Adam, Where Are You? and just now: Too Small A Price.
I encourage you, check out their webpage where you can download free mp3's: Rocky Mountain Ministries I actually ordered two of the older CD's for Stirling and Eithnee to listen to. Stirling loves to learn by singing and by music, so hopefully these will really touch his heart.
For now, if you can, listen to Don Francisco's remake of Too Small A Price. I long so very much for heaven. I cannot begin to express how much I long for it.
Here are the words:
I awoke to hear the jailer turn the key and push the door
"Get out here!" he shouted, but I stayed there on the floor
Frozen in the terror that rose and filled my brain
For I knew what they intended; I could not face the pain
Then soldier's came into the cell and they dragged me to the yard
They threw me down before a cross and brought the whip down hard
"Carry it!" they shouted as I struggled to my feet
I put my shoulder under it; dragged it to the street
I stumbled through a wall of screams as they drove me through the gate
It seemed that thousands lined the streets, their voices filled with hate
Like a wolf pack in the night that moves in for the kill
They closed the gap and followed us as we started up the hill
And it seemed I'd barely reached the top when they grabbed me from behind
They threw the cross down under me and tied the ropes that bind
The arms close to the beams as they nailed the feet and hands
And they raised the cross up in the air and dropped it in it's stand
Through a blur of pain I saw the cross there next to mine
There were people all around it so I looked to read the sign
It was nailed there up above His head so the world could see the news
That the man who seemed so helpless there was the King of all the Jews
Well, the crowd that stood around His cross made jokes about His name
They shouted, laughed and spat on Him so I joined in the game
Then I said, "Hey! if you're the King why don't You get us down from here?
The taunt just sounded hollow and it echoed in my ears
'Cause He looked at me with eyes that seemed to reach into my heart
They shone a light on all my lies and tore my life apart
There was more that lay behind His gaze than simply blood and clay
But knowing was too much for me; I had to look away
Then I chanced another look at Him as He was looking down
Where the soldiers who'd just crucified us drank there on the ground
And although He spoke them quietly, somehow His words came through
He said, "Father, please forgive them; they don't know what they do."
Then as if they'd heard Him speaking, the crowd began to roar
Whipped to frenzy by the priests who urged them on to more
But the worse the accusations, now, the plainer I could see
The guilt of the accusers -- not the One there next to me
Then the man upon the other cross began to curse and swear
But his voice was filled with venom as he hurled it through the air
When all the horror that was in him, and had laid his life to waste
Came out in every syllable he flung in Jesus' face
And Jesus only looked at him, but something rose inside of me
And in spite of all that watched us there, it couldn't be denied
Because His righteousness and innocence were shining bright and strong
I just couldn't keep my silence and that cursing still went on
I cried out, "Don't you fear the wrath of God even at the end?
You'll curse us both into the pit -- is that what you intend?
We're only getting what we're due -- we've sinned our whole lives long
But don't you talk to Him that way -- He's done nothing wrong!"
Then with all my courage, in a voice not quite my own
I asked Him, "Lord, remember me when you come into your throne."
He answered me and even then, His love was undisguised
He said, "Before the sun has set today, you'll be with Me in Paradise."
Well the shouts and curses did not stop even when the sunlight ceased
But somehow in the midst of it my soul had been released
And though the agony continued, it was still too small a price
To be allowed to hear those words, and to die beside the Christ!
Then darkness changed to dawning
And I heard the sound of voices
The air was warm around me
I stood beside a stream
And Abraham was speaking
To the multitude before him
Of the unfolding of the answer
To our prayers and hopes and dreams
Then far across the chasm,
Came a rumbling like the thunder
And the Prince of Peace came shining
From his mouth the power streamed
And the walls and towers crumbled
And the gates of hell went under
As thousands sang the victory
"We have been redeemed!"
Jesus is the Lord of all!
Jesus is the Lord of all!
Jesus is the Lord of all!
We have been redeemed!
Jesus is the Lord of all!
Jesus is the Lord of all!
Jesus is the Lord of all!
We have been redeemed!
Joy! Joy! Joy! Joy!
Jesus is the Lord of all!
Jesus is the Lord of all!
Jesus is the Lord of all!
We have been redeemed!
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
Can You Believe It? Another FO!
I actually started this scarf about 6 weeks ago. I got about half done with it when I found out that I had a deadline on the cross-stitch blanket. So, I set it aside and worked on the blanket instead. As you can see, this is a much looser weave than most of the ones I've finished so far. I like it a lot better.
I decided to go ahead and do the Danish Medallions again. At least that's what I think they are called. I haven't looked them up in my book of patterns again. I also decided to start in the middle and end in the middle instead of on one side or the other.
How did I do that? Well, I used a piece of waste yarn on the right, from side to middle. Then I left a long black tail hanging out the middle and wove a little ball of black under the rest of the warp to the edge, set it aside and then picked up the verigated yarn. Four rows of verigated and then I started working the black ball from the left to the right, using a crochet hook to make the medallions. When I got to the far right side, and all the medallions were made, I cut the black long enough to thread it and weave it back to the center, using the waste yarn as a guide as to where it should go. Then I tied it in a little bow with the first end that was hanging there, just waiting for me!
It's actually a very easy 'stitch' to do - just time consuming. I take that back - making the medallion is not time consuming - weaving the tails in was! There were 4 tails at each stripe - two white, two verigated. I'm wondering how they will wear - will they come unwoven, or stay put? I'll probably never know. :)
I like the back side of this, too. A lot.
Uh oh! What do I see there?? Another little end that needs to be woven in. :) I'll do that as soon as I post this.
This poor project - I'm glad it survived. My loom stays on the table all the time unless someone is coming over for dinner. Then it gets shuttled (heh heh) back to the bedroom and left on the bed, with it's little box of extras, so we can use the table for a meal. Or at least make the room look a little better. Oh my. I'm laughing at myself. That poor thing was in and out of the bedroom numerous times over the past month and a half.
Then, when I started working on the scarf again Monday, it took me awhile to remember exactly how I'd been weaving it. Finally got the memory back (had to reboot my mind) and started working on it. Found it way tooooo fiddly and gave up. I worked on it off and on the rest of the day, then off and on yesterday. Finally got it off the loom tonight - somewhat in fear of what I was going to find when I held it up. I'd told Mel earlier today, "I don't like this scarf! I want to do something else!!!"
But you know what? I do like this scarf. A lot. I'm not sure I'll make another one like it any time soon, but I do like it. I've also learned my lesson for sure - the looser the weave, the nicer the scarf. More wearable.
So, I look at the scarves I have sitting over there, the ones with the tight weave and I wonder - what should I do with them? I think I might make some more just like them and then sew them together and make an afghan. That might be the best solution. And inbetween making those sections, I'll weave more loose scarves.
I'm feeling very ambitious tonight.
Must be the full moon shining in the window on me right now. At least it looks full. Full and absolutely georgous. Love it!!
It's actually a very easy 'stitch' to do - just time consuming. I take that back - making the medallion is not time consuming - weaving the tails in was! There were 4 tails at each stripe - two white, two verigated. I'm wondering how they will wear - will they come unwoven, or stay put? I'll probably never know. :)
Uh oh! What do I see there?? Another little end that needs to be woven in. :) I'll do that as soon as I post this.
Then, when I started working on the scarf again Monday, it took me awhile to remember exactly how I'd been weaving it. Finally got the memory back (had to reboot my mind) and started working on it. Found it way tooooo fiddly and gave up. I worked on it off and on the rest of the day, then off and on yesterday. Finally got it off the loom tonight - somewhat in fear of what I was going to find when I held it up. I'd told Mel earlier today, "I don't like this scarf! I want to do something else!!!"
But you know what? I do like this scarf. A lot. I'm not sure I'll make another one like it any time soon, but I do like it. I've also learned my lesson for sure - the looser the weave, the nicer the scarf. More wearable.
So, I look at the scarves I have sitting over there, the ones with the tight weave and I wonder - what should I do with them? I think I might make some more just like them and then sew them together and make an afghan. That might be the best solution. And inbetween making those sections, I'll weave more loose scarves.
I'm feeling very ambitious tonight.
Must be the full moon shining in the window on me right now. At least it looks full. Full and absolutely georgous. Love it!!
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
Oh so many things to write about! That's what happens when you don't blog for awhile. Where, oh where, should I start. Hmmm?
Mel and I celebrated our 35th anniversary on June 26. Thirty-five years! Where has time gone? Didn't we just get married a few years ago? Aren't our kids still youngun's? Nope. And nope. Amazing.
So, what did we do? It was a Sunday. We stayed home from church (naughty us) and never got dressed the whole day. We lounged around in what we wear at home when no one's looking :) :), watched a couple movies, read some, I cross-stitched, Mel studied, we talked some and just relaxed. It was wonderful. Absolutely wonderful.
Our celebration of things like this has really changed. We take our time celebrating. Ha ha! Sometime during the next week we went out for dinner together, just we two. And another time during the week we went out for a walk in the park and had an Italian Gelato, sat on a bench
and just people watched for a very long time (note: this is a G rated blog, so I did not take photos of the R rated clothing that walked by),
commenting to each other about this and that,
but mostly in silence - until Vyechislav showed up.
Good, old Vyechislav. Sigh. He's retired from teaching English at a local institute, has attended our Bible studies and English classes from day one (started when CoMission was here), has attended church from day one and the delight of his whole life, I think, is to bug me. :) Actually, he claims to just want to encourage discussion but I have often thought that he is a dart from Satan. I could go on and on but will not do so at this time. Let's just say that our lazy afternoon was interupted by a half hour discussion based on the doctrines and arguements of the JW's. Finally he decided it was time to leave, picked up his briefcase and sauntered off. Mel and I just looked at each other and kind of smiled.
A few minutes later we stood up, walked over to the bus stop and took a marshrutka to the 'big bus stop' closest to our flat and walked home from there.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
June 22 was our eldest son's birthday. Peter is now 33 years old.
Photo taken Nov 7, 2010 when we were home last year
Photo taken at Disneyland the end of December 2010.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Why was Peter at Disneyland at the end of December 2010, you might ask? Well, I'll tell you!
He went out to spend some time with this young lady, Rebekah, who goes by the name of Skarlet on the internet. They've been corresponding now for several months, maybe even a year or two - must be more than a year since we knew about her while we were in the States last year... (time does fly and my mind is getting older now, you know!)
Peter was, and still is, totally smitten. I am under the impression that Skarlet is, too, since they announced on facebook that they are now engaged. Please note that we have not yet received confirmation of this via email or phone calls or even handwritten letters. We apparently live in a totally new world where announcements like this are made on facebook instead of in the local newspapers, and mom and dad had better read facebook, too, or they may be late for the wedding!
(Skarlet's blog photo) Peter went back out to California before his birthday and met Skarlet's family and, we are assuming, asked her to marry him. That is ALL the details we know. ALL. No date, no idea of plans, nothing.
Poor us!
hahahahaha! Actually, in some ways this does not surprise me at all, seeing that on the Myers-Briggs personality test I am a very high P and like to leave my options open until I must make a decision or choice. Maybe that is why I have not written to Peter yet, mama demanding all the details, right now, immediately, in my in-box. :) :)
I do need some sort of idea, however - hint, hint you two!!! Because I need to know what kind of things Skarlet likes. I do make things like the blanket for Ira, and although I know Disneyland is high on the list, I can't imagine making (or buying) a Sleeping Beauty, Goofy, Donald Duck or Mickey Mouse something or other for a newly married couple. For my grandchild, yes, but not for a wedding/newly married couple (whenever that is scheduled to happen!). So - I'm waiting, Peter and Skarlet. Waiting, waiting, waiting!
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
There is more to write, but for now, I think this post is long enough. That, and the fact that I really need to go eat some lunch before it's time to leave for prayer meeting.
Mel and I celebrated our 35th anniversary on June 26. Thirty-five years! Where has time gone? Didn't we just get married a few years ago? Aren't our kids still youngun's? Nope. And nope. Amazing.
So, what did we do? It was a Sunday. We stayed home from church (naughty us) and never got dressed the whole day. We lounged around in what we wear at home when no one's looking :) :), watched a couple movies, read some, I cross-stitched, Mel studied, we talked some and just relaxed. It was wonderful. Absolutely wonderful.
Our celebration of things like this has really changed. We take our time celebrating. Ha ha! Sometime during the next week we went out for dinner together, just we two. And another time during the week we went out for a walk in the park and had an Italian Gelato, sat on a bench
Good, old Vyechislav. Sigh. He's retired from teaching English at a local institute, has attended our Bible studies and English classes from day one (started when CoMission was here), has attended church from day one and the delight of his whole life, I think, is to bug me. :) Actually, he claims to just want to encourage discussion but I have often thought that he is a dart from Satan. I could go on and on but will not do so at this time. Let's just say that our lazy afternoon was interupted by a half hour discussion based on the doctrines and arguements of the JW's. Finally he decided it was time to leave, picked up his briefcase and sauntered off. Mel and I just looked at each other and kind of smiled.
June 22 was our eldest son's birthday. Peter is now 33 years old.
Why was Peter at Disneyland at the end of December 2010, you might ask? Well, I'll tell you!
Peter was, and still is, totally smitten. I am under the impression that Skarlet is, too, since they announced on facebook that they are now engaged. Please note that we have not yet received confirmation of this via email or phone calls or even handwritten letters. We apparently live in a totally new world where announcements like this are made on facebook instead of in the local newspapers, and mom and dad had better read facebook, too, or they may be late for the wedding!
Poor us!
hahahahaha! Actually, in some ways this does not surprise me at all, seeing that on the Myers-Briggs personality test I am a very high P and like to leave my options open until I must make a decision or choice. Maybe that is why I have not written to Peter yet, mama demanding all the details, right now, immediately, in my in-box. :) :)
I do need some sort of idea, however - hint, hint you two!!! Because I need to know what kind of things Skarlet likes. I do make things like the blanket for Ira, and although I know Disneyland is high on the list, I can't imagine making (or buying) a Sleeping Beauty, Goofy, Donald Duck or Mickey Mouse something or other for a newly married couple. For my grandchild, yes, but not for a wedding/newly married couple (whenever that is scheduled to happen!). So - I'm waiting, Peter and Skarlet. Waiting, waiting, waiting!
There is more to write, but for now, I think this post is long enough. That, and the fact that I really need to go eat some lunch before it's time to leave for prayer meeting.
Monday, July 11, 2011
Ta-Dah!
Blanket started on January 1, 2011, Kiev, Ukraine - the day after we arrived back in Ukraine. 
Blanket finished on July 10, 2011, at 7:15pm, Kherson, Ukraine 
Yipeeeee!
I bought this with one person in mind - our dear "Ukrainian Daughter", Ira. For a wedding present after she and Yura were married, I embroidered (true embroidery with lots of different kinds of stitches used) a dresser scarf with butterflies. When I decided to make a blanket for her, I again chose the butterfly motif.
Butterflies suit Ira. She told me once, a long time ago, that she loved butterflies. I have not forgotten this fact. I don't know if she still loves butterflies, but she now has several more, or I should say, she will have several more when I give this to her.
Ira is leaving Ukraine as soon as she can. This fact makes my heart sad, but at the same time, I understand the reasons. My biggest concern was that I would not get this blanket finished before she left. Now, she's planning on coming back sometime in the near future for a short period of time. She's storing their things with family and friends until that time. But they are not planning on returning permanently, if possible. Whatever happens, I wanted her to at least see this before she leaves, finished and complete. She may store it here until she has a place wherever they end up. Or she may take it with her. I don't know and I don't really care either way. I'm giving her a photo of it, too, to take with her as a bookmark or something, as a reminder of it in case she leaves it here for now.
Why is this important to me? And ultimately to her, although she will never know the whole truth? Because this blanket is saturated in prayer. Prayer for her, for her husband, for her son, for other members of her family, for her church family as well - but not as much as for her, Ira herself. I tried to spend time every single time I worked on it specifically praying for her. So, no matter where the blanket ends up - the prayers have happened and will continue to have impact on her until the day she dies. That is the wonder of prayer - they have no expiration date! I won't stop praying for her, but I may not pray with such intensity as I start other projects or work on other projects bound for other people. I hope that every time she looks at it, or thinks of it, she will focus on her Heavenly Father.
I bought this with one person in mind - our dear "Ukrainian Daughter", Ira. For a wedding present after she and Yura were married, I embroidered (true embroidery with lots of different kinds of stitches used) a dresser scarf with butterflies. When I decided to make a blanket for her, I again chose the butterfly motif.
Butterflies suit Ira. She told me once, a long time ago, that she loved butterflies. I have not forgotten this fact. I don't know if she still loves butterflies, but she now has several more, or I should say, she will have several more when I give this to her.
Ira is leaving Ukraine as soon as she can. This fact makes my heart sad, but at the same time, I understand the reasons. My biggest concern was that I would not get this blanket finished before she left. Now, she's planning on coming back sometime in the near future for a short period of time. She's storing their things with family and friends until that time. But they are not planning on returning permanently, if possible. Whatever happens, I wanted her to at least see this before she leaves, finished and complete. She may store it here until she has a place wherever they end up. Or she may take it with her. I don't know and I don't really care either way. I'm giving her a photo of it, too, to take with her as a bookmark or something, as a reminder of it in case she leaves it here for now.
Why is this important to me? And ultimately to her, although she will never know the whole truth? Because this blanket is saturated in prayer. Prayer for her, for her husband, for her son, for other members of her family, for her church family as well - but not as much as for her, Ira herself. I tried to spend time every single time I worked on it specifically praying for her. So, no matter where the blanket ends up - the prayers have happened and will continue to have impact on her until the day she dies. That is the wonder of prayer - they have no expiration date! I won't stop praying for her, but I may not pray with such intensity as I start other projects or work on other projects bound for other people. I hope that every time she looks at it, or thinks of it, she will focus on her Heavenly Father.
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